Therapy for confidence issues in Madison, WI
In this country, we have a love affair with confidence. We admire a person who is sure of his or her abilities, and not afraid to say so, and may secretly wish we were more like that ourselves. Interestingly, however, confidence has consistently been found to be inversely correlated with competence. In the research, it shows up as a kind of showy bluster unsubstantiated by real ability or knowledge. It turns out the last person in the room to speak (or the one who doesn’t speak at all!) is often the one who knows the most. And it seems the people who tend to do the best work, often have the most self-doubt. This makes for a confusing landscape; what are we to aim for?
We believe there is a version of confidence that is foundational to a healthy and robust stance in the world. This is a deep belief in one’s basic value or worth. Confidence is often connected to something a person does, while a sense of self-worth is based in who a person is. An individual with a positive sense of self-worth likely practices self-acceptance and is comfortable in his or her own skin. Anyone who has this quality will have a deep resilience and an enhanced capacity to weather the storms of life.
Developing an accurate assessment of our own capabilities is very challenging, as we seldom get unbiased feedback from neutral sources. It is completely normal to compare ourselves to others — this is a way of establishing our place in a complex world — but these comparisons are rarely useful. As we move through life, we ideally will benefit from an emerging awareness that we are capable of adapting to changing circumstances, are resilient in the face of challenge, and are trustworthy in our efforts to move forward in life with purpose, clarity, and compassion for ourselves and others. This is the kind of confidence we believe in. Our Madison therapists are ready to engage you in this journey.