The more people we know closely, the more deeply we love them, the larger the certain debt of pain that will come with grief, and the more we have to worry about. Because life is happening all around us, all the time. More and more, I have come to understand this as the fundamental human dilemma. To love is to lose. The more we love, the harder we lose. And the option? There is no option.Read More
I went for a run in the arboretum, trying to shake the sadness about my daughter not coming home for Thanksgiving that has been shadowing me. Instead of which, I started ruminating about all the choices I have made in life that resulted in this eventuality. Entirely ignoring that her opting to spend the holiday with her partner is the natural order of things, that she lives on the other side of the country and the airfare for a weekend is absurd, that I’ll see her in a month, every pounding step was an accusation, recrimination, castigation. Suddenly I could see in full array, every mis-step, wrong headedness, and failure, and knew with absolute clarity that I have completely blown it.
It is no accident that we choose to write to you about love right after Valentine’s Day. At Westside Psychotherapy, we believe that the most important days to show love lie between February 15 and February 13. Sustaining love is challenging. Life wears us down, disappointments and resentments accumulate, fatigue sets in, the dullness of familiarity may begin to rankle.Read More
The more time I spend in this life, the more strongly I believe fear is not often helpful. The purpose of fear — pounding heart, outpouring of adrenaline, and burst of energy — is to get us away from that tiger, fast! But if there is no tiger — if we have to stay in the room with the thing causing the fear - all that acceleration and energy turns against us.Read More